Start Of Something New

You left. And I’m okay with that.

If I ran into you today, I could still say “I love you” with complete sincerity. But, it would no longer come as a plea of desperation from a guy who begged you for forever. It would come from the heart of someone who realizes he’s a better man because of you.

I woke up this morning and realized that I don’t care the way I used to. This is not to be confused with my care for you because I still wish you all the love in the world. I just don’t care to know the details anymore. I don’t care if we never speak again, or the fact that you are already with someone new, or what you think of me. When I released you to go be who you needed to be, I also released myself to do the same.

“You never know what’s best for another person.

Sometimes you don’t even know what’s best for you.

You never know if God will bring someone from the past into your future. You never know…But God does. Just have faith.”

-this is from my previous blogpost (does relationships really end)-

I’m sorry for anything I said that hurt you. I’m sorry for the people who got involved that shouldn’t have. I’m sorry I didn’t end up being your “one” like you hoped in the beginning. But, baby, I will never be sorry for knowing you. I thank God for you. I thank Him that you loved me.When you left, it brought me down to my knees and I learned to stay there– not in despair, but in worship. My heart cracked open and God came in.

He changed me.

I’m turning into the man who never knew how to be with you. A man whose happiness is not based on love from another. I’m happy because of the blessings I have in Christ and no girlfriend or ex-girlfriend can shake that peace. When you stopped loving me, I found out what I’m worth.

I think I’ll always miss you, but not in the way I expected. I miss you the way I miss high school, I can smile warmly at the memory, wishing to return to that time but feeling no pain at all. As I move forward, I’ll keep you in the back of my mind and the front of my heart.

Consider this chapter closed.