“Can you love someone and still move on?”

We broke up a few months ago. I should be over you by now, but I’m just… not. I hesitate to write this because I want to move on, without lingering thoughts of you. I really do. I want to stop thinking about you and writing about you. But I started this blog to express what I’m feeling, so I will.

The reason I’m not over this relationship has nothing to do with feelings of sadness, anger, or regret… I still have hope. I have no reason to be hopeful anymore, but I am. You’ve never given me any sign that you miss, care, or even think about me. I know that you have moved on and you are already with someone else by now. And even when my mind says, let this go, my heart says, hold on just a little longer. There’s nothing romantic about waiting for something that will likely never happen. I honestly don’t even know what I’d be waiting for. Everything has changed. You’ve changed. I’ve changed. But I love you with every fiber of my being, I love you. I tell myself how ridiculous it is to love someone who clearly does not love you back. I wish I knew how to make you miss me. I wish I knew how to make you love me the way I love you. But then it wouldn’t be love, would it?

In my current position loving you means I won’t contact you. I won’t tell you I still love you. I won’t tell you that, when I picture myself getting married someday, I see your face at the end of the aisle. You’ll never know how many girls I turn down because the memory of you is greater than the possibility of someone new. I will never be the guy who always hangs out or date different girls. I’ve done the things you’re supposed to do to move on– surrounding myself with friends, getting more involved at church, volunteering with several programs, trying new things, meeting new people, pursuing a deeper relationship with God, and changing for the better. . .

But I still miss you. And I don’t know how to stop. . .

“Can you love someone and still move on?”

You Will Always Be Remembered

"Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's what it's like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt that you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it"





-The Notebook-
     Nicholas Sparks

If Life Was A Movie

Sometimes I wish life was a movie so I could skip ahead to the part where the broken relationships and crushed dreams make sense. But life isn’t a movie and I don’t have a script that will tie together all the loose ends. The past month has involved a lot of letting go. Letting go of friendships that caused more stress than joy. Letting go of stuff that cluttered my space. Letting go of negative thinking patterns. Letting go of past dreams to make room for new ones. Letting go of the desire to control everything. I always thought that if you really love something, you should fight for it. And keep fighting for it. Even after everyone else involved surrenders. When I love something, the last thing I ever want to do is let go. I want to hold on with everything I am, for as long as I can. Then I heard a quote that changed my thinking.

“Don’t let your memories be greater than your dreams.”

I read that statement several times, absorbing the words as I placed that lens on my life. Was I dedicating more energy to fixing the past or to developing new dreams? I didn’t like the answer I came up with. I realized that maybe letting go has nothing to do with weakness. Maybe letting go is saying I love you. To people of your past, it says I love you enough to trust that you’re making the right decisions for you, even if that means I’m not part of your life anymore. To yourself, it says I love you enough to set you free and allow you to build new memories. If my life was a movie and I could fast forward to the happy ending, I’d be missing the best parts. With every hello and good-bye, every success and failure, every unexpected blessing and broken promise, we learn. We learn, we grow, we change, and we take the steps necessary to get us to the right place.

“Every breath is an opportunity to receive and let go. I receive love and I let go of pain.”

Does Relationships Really End?

I’m not convinced that relationships ever really end. Even when one person says “it’s over” and both people move-on. We reach this point and our environment pressures us to pretend like the people of our past never existed.

We’re encouraged to write our ex’s off as crazy and “just forget about them.” At the very least, we’re expected to stop loving them.

I see things differently.

I now love people more after a break-up. Not in a way that keeps me chained to the past, but in a way that increases the capacity of my heart. Sometimes you love more by sincerely letting go– by releasing another person to go wherever they need to– than you could have loved if you stayed in a relationship. If this is true, then the separation of two people is not the end. It’s just a new chapter. You may not speak or see each other in this new chapter… But, when you really need it and least expect it, they may be the voice in your head that tells you to keep going. The voice that says love makes everything worth it.

I don’t like thinking of someone as an “ex.” What does that even mean? To many people, it means regarding someone they used to love deeply as something less. Especially when new people get involved– then we really start to get jealous, control, and justify. I’ve been there. I’ve felt threatened by ex-lovers and jealous of the guys who replaced me.  

It’s hard to know why someone comes into your life. All relationships require flexibility and change. How do we know when we’re supposed to fight to make it work or when we’re supposed to let it go? I wish I had a good solution to this question, but I don’t. Perhaps I need to start listening to what I tell friends– you never know. You never know what’s best for another person. Sometimes you don’t even know what’s best for you. You never know if God will bring someone from the past into your future. You never know… But God does. Just have faith.

We don’t expect the people who teach us the really beautiful things in life to be the same ones to teach us the really difficult things. I think that’s what hurts the most. If you’re hurting because you expected a happy ending and found yourself in a world of pain… Let those tears soften your heart. Keep loving and don’t worry about chapters that have closed. Your story is still being written and, I promise, there will be a happy ending.

My Sassy Girl . . .

While watching the movie “my sassy girl” brought back me into my senses…

The Movie made me realize some things that I wasn’t able to grasp before and taught me some lessons that I should have learned before.

Let me quote some parts of the movie…

This one is for Myself.

“You’re Girlfriend changed your mind right? Did you really love her? Ask yourself. I think you didn’t! If you really love her, you should let her go. If not, then it’s not love. . . A person like you should learn more about love. If we want to learn then we should keep living.”  –My Sassy Girl–

Yes it’s true, I really should learn more about love, I must not be selfish and let her live her life happily, even if it means living without her. And if it stays that way I will keep on living my life to learn more about Love.

For “Her”

“Hey listen, I’m totally ok, but you should obedient to your man… It’s alright to me, but to the other guys … try to surrender for just once … not try to win. Good luck to you!” –Gyeon-woo–

I know that you’re a bit “bossy” sometimes, and you keep on saying that you always get what you want (well it is really true that’s why you came into my mind the moment I’ve heard these lines). I want you to be happy so please try to surrender and avoid the mistakes that we made, let our past serve as your lesson and guide for your present and future life.

For “Him”

“ 1^st: don’t ask her to be feminine.

2^nd: don’t let her drink over three glasses, she’ll beat someone

At a café, drink coffee instead of coke or juice.

If she hits you, act like it hurts.

If it hurts, act like it doesn’t.

On your 100^th day together, give her a rose, she’ll like it a lot.

Make sure you learn fencing and squash.

Also, be prepared to go to prison sometimes.

If she says she’ll kill you, don’t take it lightly. You’ll feel better.

If her feet hurts, exchange shoes with her.

Finally, she likes to write. Encourage her.”

I have my own version of this: First, if you are riding an fx or cab, don’t let her sit on the side where the sunlight can reach her, or else she will be furious and will not talk to you because it will trigger her allergies. Do not let her walk a long way during a very sunny day. You can only do it if she’s says that it’s fine, and always bring an umbrella (UV protected to be precise) with you. She likes black coffee, but do not let her drink too much. If she makes fun of you, just go with it coz she’ll like you even more for that. When she gets mad about something unimportant she only wants you to hug her and make her feel loved and appreciated. When she makes an effort of putting up make-up, wearing a new dress / clothes always appreciate her efforts and tell her that she looks great! Go shopping with her. She would love to tag you along when buying her things specially make-ups. Always do things to make her smile, even small things can make her happy and everything you do for her will always be appreciated. Write her letters. She prefers scratching rather that rubbing or patting her back. Always pay attention to everything that she says. When she is upset, mad or furious about something and doesn’t want to talk, just keep silent and try to calm her down by talking about something different, she will open up after she has calmed down so don’t force her to tell you what’s bothering her because it will only make her feel more upset. And finally, always tell her that she is BEAUTIFUL because she really is!

I am now entrusting her to you, please promise me that you will not do anything to break her heart. If you do . . . I will rip you apart! (It was only a metaphor but you know what I mean. I’ll take her back if you make her cry!) There are plenty of things that wasn’t included in the list so it is for you to find out.

Welcome to My Blog

Hi Guys!

This will be the first time that I’ll be able to make a blog post,  and I don’t know how to start!
This blog was made because there are too many things in my mind that are left unsaid,
there are overflowing thoughts than can’t be expressed because some people are not willing to listen, so I made this blog to share the things that I’ve gone through, things that I’m currently going through and lessons that I’ve learned after going through every struggle in my life. I hope I will be able to inspire my readers and touch their lives to help them go through every obstacle that they may face in this unending  battle called “Life”
as of now I’m going through a very difficult chapter in my life and all I can say is. . .

“I may have Lost this battle but the war is far from over”

please bear with me coz this blog is still under construction =)