“Can you love someone and still move on?”

We broke up a few months ago. I should be over you by now, but I’m just… not. I hesitate to write this because I want to move on, without lingering thoughts of you. I really do. I want to stop thinking about you and writing about you. But I started this blog to express what I’m feeling, so I will.

The reason I’m not over this relationship has nothing to do with feelings of sadness, anger, or regret… I still have hope. I have no reason to be hopeful anymore, but I am. You’ve never given me any sign that you miss, care, or even think about me. I know that you have moved on and you are already with someone else by now. And even when my mind says, let this go, my heart says, hold on just a little longer. There’s nothing romantic about waiting for something that will likely never happen. I honestly don’t even know what I’d be waiting for. Everything has changed. You’ve changed. I’ve changed. But I love you with every fiber of my being, I love you. I tell myself how ridiculous it is to love someone who clearly does not love you back. I wish I knew how to make you miss me. I wish I knew how to make you love me the way I love you. But then it wouldn’t be love, would it?

In my current position loving you means I won’t contact you. I won’t tell you I still love you. I won’t tell you that, when I picture myself getting married someday, I see your face at the end of the aisle. You’ll never know how many girls I turn down because the memory of you is greater than the possibility of someone new. I will never be the guy who always hangs out or date different girls. I’ve done the things you’re supposed to do to move on– surrounding myself with friends, getting more involved at church, volunteering with several programs, trying new things, meeting new people, pursuing a deeper relationship with God, and changing for the better. . .

But I still miss you. And I don’t know how to stop. . .

“Can you love someone and still move on?”